My name is Gaius and I'm a hustler, basically all I've done since the day I was born was hustle. I hustled to get colostrum from an indifferent mother, hustled to survive the childhood diseases that were a rite of passage in the noisy slum of Aduwawa, Benin-city, hustled to escape the fists of my elder brothers who'd beat me when they got bored, hustled to escape the crushing poverty in my family by doing anything, anything to get ahead.Today I'm a fixer, getting my clients whatever they need promptly and at premium cost, they have never complained about my services, at least not to my hearing. With this job I've had to wear a number of caps- drug dealer, pimp, detective, private investigator, confidential procurer (thief), bodyguard, spy, escort, etc. Without any sense of false modesty I'd say I'm the best fixer in Edo state, fuck it! I'm the best in the South-South and second best in Nigeria, only Arinola can lay claim to being better than me in this naija and that's because he works exclusively for politicians and has access to the deepest pockets in the world- Nigerian politicians.
Before a few self-righteous people read this and start judging me, let me add that I pay my tithe. A tenth of every kobo I make is kept aside for tithe collection on Sunday. Even though the pastor preaches against most of my actions, he's never rejected my money. My tithe alone keeps the church in the black and I'm the major financier of most of the church's projects and activities. Pastor prays for me day and night, I'd probably get into heaven long before most of you. Make una dey there make pant dey wear una as my friend would say. I also support a number of families in Aduwawa, pay the school fees of all the primary school age children on my street. I'm a staunch believer in the value of a basic education, let them be able to read and write. Maybe they'd finally escape this cesspit of a ghetto.
I have no illusions that I can sustain this lifestyle forever, one day I'd have to give it up but not before I've gotten a tidy nest egg to support me in my old age. I know that my philanthropic gestures seriously impede my progress but I won't have it any other way.